Wednesday, May 7, 2014

"My Parents... led me to who I am."

This provocative thought was a page header title for an article in the August 17th, 2013 Toronto Star. The article preceded my Mom's birthday by two days... so my mind was already in a reflective plane of thought about her. As I have related in this blog countless times before, my Mother greatly influenced and shaped me as I was growing up. Certainly... some of that "shaping" was the necessary and day-to-day kind that all mothers take on in their rearing roles. Yet there were so many other more sublimely offered lasting lessons that came more from the way that she conducted her own life... as I watched quietly and admiringly from a distance. She taught... and led by example... with me..and host of other admirers following. Mostly... that occurred without her knowledge that I was doing so.

I remain deeply grateful to "Her"... each and every day that I face now without her encouraging and loving earthly presence. I remember her blessings in  my own fashion... separate from any of my siblings. I honour her by trying to conduct the kind of life which blends the good things that she presented... but without ranker... I forgive those few things that she carried out in her own life... that I didn't admire. Strange... that on Mother's Day... that I should choose to reveal that she had some qualities that I have not carried forward. There are no saints really... just "good people"... who demonstrate their sense of Humanity... which includes making mistakes... and then.... making up for them.

What I have come to understand after becoming a parent myself... is that children do not come to you with any sort of manual. Most everything we use to accomplish our rearing task is done in trial-and-error fashion... and often on a minute-to minute-basis. Logically then... ALL of us have screwed up along the way on the job one way or another. Many of our rearing strategies were learned from the way we ourselves were raised. Thus nurture helps shape or own way that we parent.

I'm sure that each of us... mother or father have had those moments when we genuinely feel that we failed to hit the mark... and in hindsight (which is always 20-20) would have handled a issue in question differently. It is totally amazing to me... today... to see how much smarter my parents were... on a day when as a teenager... or even as an adult, I felt that they knew nothing. Age along with life experiences should increase one's level of wisdom. I marvel at how wise my parents were... and how trivial the very few mistakes they made were in comparison to the sound preparation and advice they offered me in my growing years.
I feel ... forever grateful and blessed for the contributions and sacrifices that they each made... either singly... or together on my behalf.

On Sunday. Mother's day, 2014... when I visit them at their resting place... I will offer my thanks to them both. I will silently remember their gifts and our wonderful shared and now treasured moments together. I will pledge to them... my continued effort to care for my own children and partner... so that at the end of my journey their teachings and my own may together shape the future of their own wee ones. Already, both Deb and I can see firsthand that some of our "not-so-wee"ones are already well underway.... and in so doing offer the Sherman and Marginson names great honour.

The Toronto Star have dedicated a full page each day over the last weeks to a visit to the kitchens of fallen Canadian Afghanistan soldiers. In those kitchens mothers and fathers have been allowed the privilege and dignity to offer insight into the special lives and the loss that they have had to shoulder. It is so very poignant to hear their words and to bear witness to the way they have coped with this unspeakable loss to any family. It makes my life seem so much simpler... and the small daily blessings that I take for granted too often - gifts of immeasurable wealth and richness. Let us.. in peace and safety... think on this special day... of the countless mothers everywhere around the world who face similar loss and grief whether due to war or illness.

I would like to share this lovely quote from another Toronto Star story of last year. It is a tribute to her lovely son plagued during almost all of his nineteen years of life by schizophrenia. Kit's battle was an impossible one for him... one that ultimately he lost that battle. But never did his family... and particularly his mother give up on him. They supported him right through to the tragic conclusion of his struggle. On the Friday night before he died he told his mom that he loved her.

The family shared their story openly with the readers of the paper. It touched my heart greatly... and I have kept this quote and Kim's smiling picture in my studio. In Lesley Skelly's own words... one can begin to more fully understand that intangible and unmatched special bond between a mother and child:

"LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS THERE ARE STARS IN THE SKY, SAND IN THE DESERT, AND WATER IN THE OCEAN."

Let us be thankful for Mothers (and Fathers) who share this rarest of rare form of love for their children. Let us honour them by serving others with the same love... kindness and generosity that we ourselves received through them.

I love you ... forever Mom! Happy Mother's Day... to All Mothers!!!


"Heard It on the Grapevine"

My Mom gave me my love of the Natural World... and all of its birds and creatures.


"Simply Daisies"

We shared a love of wildflowers.. especially simple field daisies. This was a Mother's Day gift I did for her kitchen in 1986. It now hangs in our own.


 My Mom and Dad... together left the gift of music in the souls of all Sherman children

"Make a joyful noise!..."


Our newest member... Wee Mac! I've yet to hold him. Andrew is the best "Mom"... a guy could ever have! Loosen up the grip Dude! Give us all a hold! HA HA!! Enjoy this time Son. It is precious... and fleeting!

Note:  The Meetin' yer Grampa  outfit... Canadian Tuxedo and Jeans... Grampa -style!!! HA HA!!

Happy 1st Mother's Day Melissa! He's a keeper!... and to "You" Lisa for being the special Mom you have always been to my other three grandchildren. Lastly... but certainly not the least... Happy Mother's day to "You" Deb for being a Mom to each of my children and your own... in the very wonderful and loving manner that you have dones so. Thank You!

12 comments:

  1. Fabulous post, Bruce, and one straight from your heart. Your feelings and thoughts I've quite a few times over the past years. You are blessed indeed.

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  2. Thank you back Sherry! Like you I shoot straight... from the heart. NO pretending. I admire that in you! I sense that you are one of those bless-ed Moms!

    A Special Happy Mother's Day to You!
    Warmest regards,
    Bruce

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  3. A beautiful tribute to your parents and family life. Your paintings are full of color and are sensitive works. I haven't seen the large painting before with the birds it really is bonny, it is as if the birdies were having a conversation. I believe that those who were not blessed with a happy family life (no fault of the parents who were unhappy in themselves and too weary to give anything out) can create happy moments communing with nature and with good friends and find a kind of family life within that. The world outside is a constant companion during the ever changing seasons we have the house martins visiting our area again, the wild geese have left us again two weeks ago and now the garden sparrows and blackbirds enjoy their time in the garden offering hours of entertainment!

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  4. Good afternoon Lass!... Thank you for your comprehensive comments... wisdom and enthusiam!

    Birds and other creatures that we share the earth with bring us so much pleasure and insight into feelings and qualities not different than those usually attibuted to the human species (by us) HAHA!! We never tire of watching every morning or during the day as we work in our garden and grounds,

    Family is the other half of Happiness... though at times some members come with their challenges... but so did we all along the way! Life is about triual andf error mostly. Norms and "rules" are made to be bent... or broken! That's how we raise the bar and grow as individuals,,, independent of our past and even our curent situations.

    Enjoy your day,... and Happy Mother's Day to You!

    Good Painting!
    Warmest regards,
    Bruce

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  5. I love your uplifting, straight from the heart posts :)

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  6. Hi Bruce, this is a beautiful, uplifting post on the grey, foggy morning we have here today. You have been truly blessed in your family, both parents and offspring, and I'm sure the next generation feel the same after the upbringing they have had from you.

    All the best,
    Keith

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  7. HI there Mary!... I discover and feel the very same way each and every time that I view your art and read the words that you share with your readers. If only the world could join hands and share in the same way.

    All that we can do is to present our joy transparently and perhaps we can encourage even one more person to be uplifted and thankful. Then it is all worthwhile.

    Happy Mother's Day to a good daughter Mary!

    Good Painting!
    Warmest regards,
    Bruce

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  8. Good morning Keith!... Your comments warm my heart on a similarly grey... rainy and windy spring morning!

    It is uplifting to discover your comments each morning and somehow... I feel less troubled by the world and its senseless shenanigans to know that there are indeed others like me... in other places. Hope... springs eternal!

    Thank you Keith!

    A Happy Mother's Day to your wife!

    Good Painting!
    Warmest regards,
    Bruce

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  9. Dear Bruce, yes, you are truly blessed. Wonderful post, and especially the photo of the little wee one. God Bless you and your family. You have done Your Mom proud.

    Happy Mothers Day to Deb.
    All the best to you,
    Joan

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  10. Hi Joan!... Thanks for stopping by and for your encouraging comments!

    We both share a common belief about the inportance of Family... and there is no better day to show it than on Mother's day!

    Happy Mother's Day to you Joan! I'll get over to your site in the next while... we have been "under the gun" trying to get ready in the Gallery for our opening on the Canadian holiday weekend coming up next weekend!

    Good Painting!
    Warmest regards,
    Bruice

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  11. You make me think...you make me smile....Thank you, Bruce.

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  12. Good evening Dean!... If art can make another think... and then smile... there is no other reason for making art... nor any greater compliment which one can expect from a peer that you admire and look up to! No more needs to be said... except... Thank you my Friend!

    Good Painting!
    Warmest regards,
    Bruce

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